An evening with Extended Family...!

Why, oh why was I roped into it? I kept asking myself this question while being dragged by my sweet mother to this family gathering I really, really wanted to avoid. I would have preferred to have my teeth pulled out painfully, than endure this event .But it was mother, who wanted me to go! What can I say? You see, my mother has this really annoying ability to make you agree to do things you would rather avoid .She will keep making comments intended to make you have feel  guilt for your behavior( childish in her opinion),until you surrender . This time was no different. Don’t get me wrong. I mean, she is amazing and I love her more than anything, but she can be slightly unreasonable at times (times like this). What the hell..!

As I entered my Uncle’s house (my father’s cousin), I couldn’t help but think that I should have put up more resistance. This really felt like walking into a lion’s den unarmed. There would be a million questions waiting to be thrown at me and my aunts would not be too subtle about it either. No time to turn around at this late hour! Damn it..!!

 “There you are! We have been waiting for you guys for like hours. Neha! Wow! It has been so long since we last saw you. You really should come more often. Your poor parents! Come In! Come In! We have so much catching up to do! It is so nice to have the family together……….. ”. Told you! I should have run away when I still had time. That was my great aunt by the way. She has nothing better to do but interfere in other people’s lives. You would be hard pressed to find a more nosy, talkative and tactless person. Note to self-avoid her for the rest of your stay (in town).

By the time I finished greeting all the elders of the family, my jaw ached from all the grinning I had to do .You would be called out for looking glum if you show anything but happiness on your face at meeting them. Each one of them had something or other to say. I was actually quite proud of myself after the ordeal was over, for I actually managed not to say anything about what I think of their opinion on how I should manage my own Life. Mother should be so proud of me! Some of them might actually have my best interest at heart but meddling does not exactly help their case.

As soon as I could make my escape, I went to my cousin Suphie’s room where all the young members of the family were gathered. They had been making so much noise that our arrival had gone unnoticed.  I peeked in to find girls chattering away, while all the kids were jumping and running around. The room was a mess! I am pretty sure Shanti aunty would not be too happy about it when she came in to check up on us. I grinned from ear to year at the thought. My evening was looking up after all. Enough stalling, I told myself and opened the door wide."Hey Guys…..", no sooner had the words escaped my lips that I found myself tackled by at least ten to twelve kids all jumping up and down and talking at the same time .The  girls had started laughing while I tried to control the chaos in vain. Once the excitement was over, they went back to their game of throwing things at each other and running around. I settled in and listened to their mindless gossip until one of my aunts (everybody loves her, even me) came in to call us for dinner. And we went behind her without any protest.

Dinner was great as usual, being the combined effort of all the great cooks of the family (including my mother) .We chatted, joked around with my male cousins (they had been playing cards at the roof, all this time and had to be dragged down for dinner), did everything to avoid making eye contact with senior citizens (to avoid scolding) and of course stuffed ourselves with all the good food piled before us. Once dinner was over, we didn’t go back to our merry ways (only kids were allowed to leave). Instead we had to sit out for an interrogation with my uncles, aunts, great-uncles, great-aunts... (You get the meaning) while we youngsters fuzzed and slurred through the answers. My only consolation was that I was not the only one at the receiving end of the fire. After all, it is good to have company if you are feeling miserable. We made gagging faces at each other when no one was looking, to dissipate the tension. Finally after an hour or so, we were allowed to leave as they wanted to have one of their own gossip sessions and our answers had started to sound barely polite.

I was tired by then and just wanted to go home and lie down. Alas! My parents were still in there, attending that horrid gossip session .So after a few minutes, I decided to go back in (very brave of me If I may say so myself) and give them a little reminder that we had a home to return to. When I approached the room, I heard raised voices and was about to turn back when the reason for the argument caught my attention. One of my uncles was facing financial difficulty and wanted to sale out his portion of the family property to pay for his son’s higher education. Elders of the family seemed very angry at his decision. Raj Uncle was asking him to accept his help and they were all persuading him to take the offer. My parents too seemed to be in favor of this decision and had offered all the help that they could afford .I listened in while they finally managed to wear him down and he accepted the help provided that it was only a loan and he would be allowed to pay back. The discussion was over and they moved on to mundane gossips. I stood there for a few more minutes thinking about what I had heard. This gathering had been organized to look out for the wellbeing of a member of the clan and had not been so pointless after all. I found myself feeling proud and safe in the knowledge that no matter what this big (slightly eccentric) family would always be there for me.

I returned to my cousins, joked around some more and said my goodbyes to the kids who were getting really sleepy. We reminded each other to keep in touch. I got some more pearls of advice from the elders of the family while saying goodbye. Strangely, those words did not irritate me this time around. Then it was time to leave. I looked back at the house with mixed feelings. Somehow, I was not so very angry with my mother for dragging me to this family get-together.

Days gone by and the 'A' issues

In life certain events come so rare that when they do, special attention must be paid. Events like solar eclipses, nuclear explosion and getting a movie ticket for free require focus. Something just so rare happened again. One evening at a restaurant in very typical Delhi fashion three fabulous girl-friends found themselves detained and overloaded with assignments at the exact same time. In order to celebrate the occasion and lessen their pain they decided to call for a hangout party.

     Sarah Ali and Samira Roy, my two single and fabulous friends (looking not so fabulous this time) were having a heartfelt conversation about their so called ‘A’ issues. Sarah had certain problem with her landlord; turns out her ‘A’ issue was the search of a decent ‘Apartment’ in a city were you can’t even find some decent air to breath. As for Samera her ‘A’ issue was a little more complicated to absorb; ‘Affair’ with a man who left her without much of a notice. Listening to both of them I had a thought, Aren’t we all surrounded by these ‘A’ issues? Or we just want to visited by ‘the ghosts of life in past’?

           “Remember the school days when every thing felt so exciting and even the word ‘break’ meant fun. Now it’s ‘break up’ and ‘break down’ and it keeps getting worse. What’s next?” Samira was frustrated and it had affected her sanity to the core. “But my friend Shilpa has a friend Priyanka who has it all. Nice apartment, brilliant job and a great relationship” Sarah was an optimist and it reflected in whatever she said.  But come on, it’s always a friend who knows a friend. Why, I haven’t seen someone who has it all?

            “I mean what is the point in hearing about these apartments, men or jobs, if they are not available.” Just as the words popped out of my mouth, Sarah purged out the optimism inside her. “May be it’s the universe telling you they are still out there.” Then I realized. No ones ever told her that it was the universe telling us that all the good ones are taken. How I wish that someone could trade my life here in Delhi and bring me back ‘the school days’, carefree days and the days gone by. But something inside me says “wake up girl, you have missed the boat!” what the hell?

         Later that night I found myself wondering about ‘Days gone by’. That care free time when our schedules were as wide open as our hearts. The time before affairs, agitation and assignments began to way us all down. I couldn’t help but wonder, does that sense of adventure still flicker inside of us? Or when it comes to being carefree single girls, have we missed the boat? 

            A week after the hangout party I accidently bumped into Sarah at a road corner and surprisingly see looked happy. “Hey you, glowing off the limits. Did you get the apartment?” I asked without delay. “No but I did solve the problem with my landlord. And guess what, it will save me all the troubles of shifting and all that stuff.” she smiled at every word. That moment I realized that school days are over, we need to grow up and look for the solutions to the ‘A’ issues. I knew Sarah had grown up.

         A short while latter I had a thought, may be ‘the past’ is like an anchor holding us back. May be you have set yourself free from ‘who you were’ to become ‘who you will be’.  And just let go of the ‘Days gone by’.

Signal of a falling star!!

When you live in a city like Delhi it can take all your energy to stay “alive”. People talk about love and share speeches about not being emotionally drained, but the truth is nobody actually cares.  When people ask “how are you?” they really don’t need an answer.  A day before yesterday I said “I am fine, thanks” at least fifty times, and I didn’t mean it once. And the funny part was, no one actually noticed. I mean who the hell has time and feelings to waste? In the age of raising inflation feelings have become way too expensive. Cupid has fixed his rate and fate is facing extinction. Damn it!

           One morning my best friend Sofia invited me to her apartment to celebrate absolute nothing. Ever since she started working at HCL, Sofia was in a celebration crisis. So she decided to hang out and spend some time with me, like old times.  Some people are so good at hiding there true feelings under the fabulous cover of a good laugh or a pretty smile, that instantly the lie becomes the truth. Sofia was one of those kinds. But when you have known someone for more than half of your life, a fake laugh can’t help. So I confronted her. “How are you?” I asked and trust me, I meant it. She looked me in the eye and a tiny drop of tear rolled down her chick. It was one of those awkward friendship moments when you feel like you know nothing about the person you thought you knew every thing about. I had known Sofia all my life but never saw her cry, not even the day when we left our town. So I feared what went so horribly wrong that my strong Sofia lost herself?

   “I am having a rough time. I can’t imagine I am saying this but…uhhh… I think there might be a chance that I have fallen for someone.” she started sobbing just after she broke the news. I could believe if she had said that she murdered someone but this was beyond my strength to absorb. Sofia in love was like Delhi is clean! “Who is he and why didn’t you tell me about him, Sofi?” anxiety was getting over me. And then she began with her tale.  He was a client at HCL, whom she met a month ago. The guy was an engineer, not to mention stunningly hansom and intelligent, according to her he was her first official infatuation. And just when she realized the fact that the man was controlling all of her thoughts and emotions, she drove him away!

               Of all the unique species I know of, Sofia is ultimate. HCL was giving her a promotion; hence transfer to another city was inevitable. And as she had seen too many long distance relations go down the drain, she was just not in favour of a serious relationship with him. She felt it could not last, so there was no point in giving it a try. Her judgment was right or wrong, I could not decide. But it was fairly certain that she had just stepped into the zone where every feeling is predefined. What if he was the one for her?

         Latter that night I found myself thinking about ‘fate’. That crazy concept that we are not really responsible for the course our lives take, that it’s all predestined, written in the stars. May be that explains why- If you live in a city where you can’t even see the stars clearly your life tends to feel a little more random. But if every feeling, every pain and every drop of love is preordered from some cosmic catalogue, can we still take a wrong step and wander off our own personal ‘milky way’. I could not help but wonder could you make a mistake and miss your fate?

         Yesterday I was at the railway station with my best friend aka the new manager of HCL, Mumbai.  Hard as it was to see her go, I decided not to cry and save some of my emotional expences. We stood there holding hands before she saw the engineer guy enter her train. There was a thousand watt smile spread all over her face, and after a long time I saw her sparkle again. Just then the train gave its signal and she ran into it. As she waved her hand for me I realized it was her fate signaling. She was being taken to something she drove away.

        For the first time the sky was clear, I could see the stars.  And now I know that there is no way to miss your fate. No matter how many calculations you do or mistakes you make, fate will find you wherever you go. Lost in my thought as I looked up and I saw a star falling down. May be it was my turn now, may be my fate was coming along. 

'can't be tamed': quite a love story

wanna be free; untamed

Once upon a time in a magical city, a certain man and quite a less certain women kept bumping into one another. They seemed to meet everywhere, on street corners, at parties. It was all most as if they were dating accidently. And then after another chance meeting at a coffee shop, they decided to get time and bump into each other on purpose.

            Arnav Singh khurana was a young man in his 20’s who owned his own Public Relations firm and made about 1 lakh per month. That’s not it. He was ridiculously gorgeous, hard for any women to resist I suppose. I knew him from my collage. He was senior to me and we never really had any verbal conversation. Whenever we met he would just pass on his killing smile with a gentle node.  A year after my graduation I met him in the metro train. And for the first time in a very long time I talked to him. I had quite given up the idea that handsome delhites like Arnav could possibly be polite and down to earth. But when I met him, I changed my mind.

         He was every thing a girl would need. He was a man with all the qualities on my check list. So, only after a couple of dates when he proposed me I said “yes” right away.It was like a dream and I never wanted to wake up. Even though I did dislike a few things about him but I tried to fall in love with them too.

          One warm morning he came at my place to take me out. It would have been the most incredible day my life before he started being judgmental over my taste in fashion. Actually, he saw an ugly ass bracelet, that was too kitchy for my taste. And my mistake was that I just purged it on his face. And for the first time, I realized. In the whole relationship thing I was the only one who was trying to get along with the things I hated about him. He wasn’t even trying.

           As time passed, he started showing his discomfort about my habits and my nature.He seemed to have problem with every thing, my friends, my late night job, my love for movies and bla bla bla. May be it was time to take a break and clear our heads. So he decided to go to Mumbai for a vacation and I decided to chill for a while. But the short time break ended up in a long time break up. And yet again, a woman was guilty for a failed relationship.

       A few months later the perfect guy called me from a random number to inform that he was in a Delhi again. But the shock was on its way. He was in Delhi with his new girlfriend. The whole idea of my ex boyfriend having a new serious relationship, shook my believe system to the core. And I couldn’t stop thinking “Why wasn’t I the one?”

       A week later, I was sipping the coffee at my favorite coffee shop, all alone, when I saw something I never wanted to see. There he was with his new girl, a perfect delhite with all the attributes on the check list. I had a choice. I could run away or I could stand and ask him the question that if I didn’t ask will haunt me the rest of my life. So I walked towards the gate to confront him for one last time. I guess he sensed it and so he sent his girl to grab a table and waited on the door. Before I could say a word, he popped up “how have you been?”. I wanted to tell that I was freaking upset, but I kept that thought to myself. “Well, I m fine. I actually came down here to ask you something.” I never sounded that confident and he stood there waiting for my question. “What exactly went wrong between us?” there I said it. “ummm..uhhh…I don’t know...” as he carried on with his stumbling over my question, I looked at the new girl’s hand. And there I could see the ugly ass bracelet she was playing with. Then and there I got my answer. And I realized that the universe may not always play fair, but at least it’s got hell of a sense of humor. I left the coffee shop laughing on his face. Arnav needed someone whom he could turn into what he was, and his new girl was exactly the kind. I could never change for anyone.  

       On my way to the apartment, something caught my eye. Down the street, I saw a horse who wouldn’t allow his master to tie him. Even after a lot of struggle the horse was not ready to be tied. Finally, the master gave up and he was free to roam. Then I realized that may be I could never turn into a girl perfect for Arnav, or the problem was I never wanted to be perfect. May be I wanted someone who could accept me the way I am. Some horses are arrogant enough to run wild, just like some women aren’t meant to be tamed. May be they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with. Free and untamed.

      

The city and the'metro fashion'

It was yet another boring and monotonous morning in New Delhi. Just like any other day, I woke up, had my breakfast, took my shower, got dressed and headed towards my work place. As if the whole city was cursed, never to face any excitement or adventure. But in spite of all odds, there is something about this city that will force you to praise it. It’s a medium of transportation that gives you the comfort of air-condition and makes you believe that you actually live in a metro city.  Yes, it’s the Delhi Metro. But I don’t praise it because of any obvious reasons; rather I praise it for showing the glamorous reviews of every day changing fashion. People in Delhi have this uncontrollable urge for competing with every day changing fashion, and Delhi Metro plays the role of a universal ramp where everyone has the equal opportunity to show off.

        Lost in my thoughts, I waited on the platform for the train which was obviously 6 min late; and then I heard an annoyingly familiar voice. That was Samira Roy, a journalist at Hindustan times who was once a typical intelligent small town girl. As a matter of fact she was a good friend of mine before she transformed into another delhitic robot. Now days she calls herself a modern and trendy fashion diva, but on the contrary she is a fashion disaster. “Hi baby, how are you? How’s life?” she braked at once. And suddenly all my love for the metro train vanished in thin air. “I am good. How have you been? Long time huh!!” I showed my enthusiasm or at least tried.

       Lucky for me, Samaria is great at one way communication. So, I just had to smile or laugh at regular intervals. During the whole conversation (if it was a conversation) she kept trying to draw my attention on her earrings, which looked more like my grandmother’s wall clock. Despite of all her efforts, when I didn’t say a word about her earrings, she took the matter in her own hands. “Oh!! You see, I got these earrings from Ritu Wears, it’s a single piece.”  I could smell how desperate she was to get a positive response. “Yes, they are great, but don’t you think it’s a bit too heavy?” the instant those words popped out of my mouth, I regretted them. Samira was obviously offended. “Oh!! I know they are a little big and my ear hurts, but this is in fashion. Any ways, I don’t see you have changed. I mean, look at you, still wearing those loose genes and kurta.” She said those words and left. Suddenly, I felt the wind knocked out of me, I wanted to crawl under my blanked and go right to sleep. Was it true? In the age of everyday changing fashion, was I far behind? And when I looked around, I could see that I was a disaster in a train full of fashion divas. I had never felt so invisible in my entire life.   

        Speaking of fashion, the word has a total different meaning for this incredibly uncertain city. It’s not something that defines beauty or makes you feel good, it’s much more. Fashion defines power and status. You don’t wear something because it looks good on you or makes you feel comfortable. Rather, you wear it because it’s the single piece and no other person will have it. As if the people in Delhi have really given up on emotions to struggle for power and status. It’s a little complex for a normal human to understand. But once you are in this magical city, you are not allowed to be normal.

          Even at work, my mind was completely occupied with the thought that I looked pathetic. After my working hours were finished, I realized that once again I will have to face the same humiliation in the metro. But I had no choice. So I comforted myself thinking that the day could not get any worse and stepped in the train. Just when I had decided that the day could not get any worse, there he was Arnav Singh Khurana- the long lost crush of my life whom I knew from the collage.

     When you live in a city linked with metro lines, the odds of bumping into your long time crush are incredibly high. The odds of bumping into him when you look like shit are even higher. As he made his way through the crowd, I tried to feel calm and not think about anything. “Hey, uhhhh... Hi, you remember me?” his voice was just like I remembered, sexy.  And I almost choked. “Of Corse, I mean yeah. So how have been?” that’s all I could come up with. For about 10 minutes we chatted in the most formal way possible. And then I was just a single station behind my destination point, when he said something that made my day. “Well, I saw you the other day at the pizza hut. You were interviewing someone. You looked confident and great. Just like now.” I could neither answer him nor look him in the eye, so I just stepped out of the door. But as I was about to leave the platform I still don’t know why, I turned back. And guess what? I saw something that was even cooler than what I heard. He was smiling at me and his smile went straight to his eyes. That moment I felt power, potent and amazingly alive. I felt like I own this city, nothing and no one could get in my way.  

   In the city so uncertain, the moment you decide that all hopes are gone, something will pop up from the dark and change your mind. That day I realized that fashion was still on its place and it hasn’t replaced feelings. May be, people in Delhi haven’t given up on emotions, may be there was still hope.

The city and the 'time pass' theory

New Delhi, the capital of India, a metro city with infinite cultures and traditions.  But I think that Delhi has a culture of its own. It’s a blend and mixture of various Indian cultures and western, still so unique. There are many things about this city and its people that leaves me wondering, specially the ‘time pass’ theory.    

  The story really began when a small town girl entered the city of New Delhi to become a journalist. For Samira Roy every thing was about planning. She was all set to do her masters in journalism from the best known collage in the city and also had a job in hand at the Hindustan times. As most of the small town girls in India, Samira was also raised with the similar ethics and rules, which were not to be broken in any conditions.  But in the city of infinite possibilities she caught the eye of the city’s typically eligible bachelor. Sahil Kapoor was 25, a well mannered and respected software engineer who made about 70 thousand per month.  They met one evening in typical Delhi Faison at a common friend’s birthday party. It was love at first sight. For about a month they hanged out together, went to romantic dates and shared their little secrets. It felt like the whole city was magically reduced to two people- Sahil and Samira. The cupid was on the roll and the reality was taking its last breath. All of her plans and dreams were flushed down the gutter as she no more cared about herself; instead it was all about his happiness and success.

  But one morning she woke up to find her sweet pie was leaving the city and moving to Bangalore for a new and better job. It was devastating for her, but it felt worse when he didn’t call and left the city without her concern. Later that week she found out that he changed his cell number without informing her.

 “I should have never fallen into this mess. He never called, bastered” She tolled me one day over coffee. “I don’t understand in my town when people look for houses together and talk to your parents it means something.” Then I realized.  No one’s told her about the end of love in New Delhi. Welcome to the city of un-innocence. No one has breakfast at tiffanies and no one has affairs to remember. Instead, they have breakfast at 12 and affairs they try to forget as quickly as possible. “I quit my job, I am not seeing any of my friends anymore and on the top of everything I have barely spoken a word to my parents, all because of that son-of-bitch” she continued with her forbidden love story. And then I wondered how the hell do we get into this mess?  

 There are thousands of young women in the city from different towns and cultures and we all agree they are great. They work, they travel, they spends hundreds over a pantaloons t-shirt. But they are alone and betrayed. It’s like the riddle of this age, why are there so many great innocent girls in the city and no great guy?

May be it’s their own fault, may be innocence and love is a synonym to foolishness in this city. Or not even the city is to be blamed, when you have such a fast life, who the hell has time to stand still with one single person. You pass your time and move along, that’s the real ‘time pass’ theory of the city. No muss, no fuss.

   About a month later after the Sahil Kapoor’s chapter, I saw Samira with another guy at the same coffee shop were she had eaten up my mind about how she was never going to fall for any delhite again. And then I realized that the ‘Instine theory of relativity’ would have to be amended to include a set of rules in order to explain the peculiar effects of infatuation. When I was about to leave the coffee shop on her account, I heard her call me. “Hi, how have you been? Are you fine?” she shouted from her table and ran towards me. Before I could answer her she said something that blew my mind. “You see that man over their, he is a investment banker and earns much more than Sahil .” it was as if someone has just put a drop of melted hot iron in my ears.  But somehow I maintained my temper and asked if she loved him. And guess what, she said “oh! No, he is just a time pass”.

  You see, this is the magic of the city. Once you are in Delhi you are nothing but another delhitic robot that runs with no rules.  But it only applies to those who choose to be one of them. If you choose the other road and hold on to the values you came with, then it’s a whole new world. Tough but full of contentment.