Days gone by and the 'A' issues

In life certain events come so rare that when they do, special attention must be paid. Events like solar eclipses, nuclear explosion and getting a movie ticket for free require focus. Something just so rare happened again. One evening at a restaurant in very typical Delhi fashion three fabulous girl-friends found themselves detained and overloaded with assignments at the exact same time. In order to celebrate the occasion and lessen their pain they decided to call for a hangout party.

     Sarah Ali and Samira Roy, my two single and fabulous friends (looking not so fabulous this time) were having a heartfelt conversation about their so called ‘A’ issues. Sarah had certain problem with her landlord; turns out her ‘A’ issue was the search of a decent ‘Apartment’ in a city were you can’t even find some decent air to breath. As for Samera her ‘A’ issue was a little more complicated to absorb; ‘Affair’ with a man who left her without much of a notice. Listening to both of them I had a thought, Aren’t we all surrounded by these ‘A’ issues? Or we just want to visited by ‘the ghosts of life in past’?

           “Remember the school days when every thing felt so exciting and even the word ‘break’ meant fun. Now it’s ‘break up’ and ‘break down’ and it keeps getting worse. What’s next?” Samira was frustrated and it had affected her sanity to the core. “But my friend Shilpa has a friend Priyanka who has it all. Nice apartment, brilliant job and a great relationship” Sarah was an optimist and it reflected in whatever she said.  But come on, it’s always a friend who knows a friend. Why, I haven’t seen someone who has it all?

            “I mean what is the point in hearing about these apartments, men or jobs, if they are not available.” Just as the words popped out of my mouth, Sarah purged out the optimism inside her. “May be it’s the universe telling you they are still out there.” Then I realized. No ones ever told her that it was the universe telling us that all the good ones are taken. How I wish that someone could trade my life here in Delhi and bring me back ‘the school days’, carefree days and the days gone by. But something inside me says “wake up girl, you have missed the boat!” what the hell?

         Later that night I found myself wondering about ‘Days gone by’. That care free time when our schedules were as wide open as our hearts. The time before affairs, agitation and assignments began to way us all down. I couldn’t help but wonder, does that sense of adventure still flicker inside of us? Or when it comes to being carefree single girls, have we missed the boat? 

            A week after the hangout party I accidently bumped into Sarah at a road corner and surprisingly see looked happy. “Hey you, glowing off the limits. Did you get the apartment?” I asked without delay. “No but I did solve the problem with my landlord. And guess what, it will save me all the troubles of shifting and all that stuff.” she smiled at every word. That moment I realized that school days are over, we need to grow up and look for the solutions to the ‘A’ issues. I knew Sarah had grown up.

         A short while latter I had a thought, may be ‘the past’ is like an anchor holding us back. May be you have set yourself free from ‘who you were’ to become ‘who you will be’.  And just let go of the ‘Days gone by’.

Signal of a falling star!!

When you live in a city like Delhi it can take all your energy to stay “alive”. People talk about love and share speeches about not being emotionally drained, but the truth is nobody actually cares.  When people ask “how are you?” they really don’t need an answer.  A day before yesterday I said “I am fine, thanks” at least fifty times, and I didn’t mean it once. And the funny part was, no one actually noticed. I mean who the hell has time and feelings to waste? In the age of raising inflation feelings have become way too expensive. Cupid has fixed his rate and fate is facing extinction. Damn it!

           One morning my best friend Sofia invited me to her apartment to celebrate absolute nothing. Ever since she started working at HCL, Sofia was in a celebration crisis. So she decided to hang out and spend some time with me, like old times.  Some people are so good at hiding there true feelings under the fabulous cover of a good laugh or a pretty smile, that instantly the lie becomes the truth. Sofia was one of those kinds. But when you have known someone for more than half of your life, a fake laugh can’t help. So I confronted her. “How are you?” I asked and trust me, I meant it. She looked me in the eye and a tiny drop of tear rolled down her chick. It was one of those awkward friendship moments when you feel like you know nothing about the person you thought you knew every thing about. I had known Sofia all my life but never saw her cry, not even the day when we left our town. So I feared what went so horribly wrong that my strong Sofia lost herself?

   “I am having a rough time. I can’t imagine I am saying this but…uhhh… I think there might be a chance that I have fallen for someone.” she started sobbing just after she broke the news. I could believe if she had said that she murdered someone but this was beyond my strength to absorb. Sofia in love was like Delhi is clean! “Who is he and why didn’t you tell me about him, Sofi?” anxiety was getting over me. And then she began with her tale.  He was a client at HCL, whom she met a month ago. The guy was an engineer, not to mention stunningly hansom and intelligent, according to her he was her first official infatuation. And just when she realized the fact that the man was controlling all of her thoughts and emotions, she drove him away!

               Of all the unique species I know of, Sofia is ultimate. HCL was giving her a promotion; hence transfer to another city was inevitable. And as she had seen too many long distance relations go down the drain, she was just not in favour of a serious relationship with him. She felt it could not last, so there was no point in giving it a try. Her judgment was right or wrong, I could not decide. But it was fairly certain that she had just stepped into the zone where every feeling is predefined. What if he was the one for her?

         Latter that night I found myself thinking about ‘fate’. That crazy concept that we are not really responsible for the course our lives take, that it’s all predestined, written in the stars. May be that explains why- If you live in a city where you can’t even see the stars clearly your life tends to feel a little more random. But if every feeling, every pain and every drop of love is preordered from some cosmic catalogue, can we still take a wrong step and wander off our own personal ‘milky way’. I could not help but wonder could you make a mistake and miss your fate?

         Yesterday I was at the railway station with my best friend aka the new manager of HCL, Mumbai.  Hard as it was to see her go, I decided not to cry and save some of my emotional expences. We stood there holding hands before she saw the engineer guy enter her train. There was a thousand watt smile spread all over her face, and after a long time I saw her sparkle again. Just then the train gave its signal and she ran into it. As she waved her hand for me I realized it was her fate signaling. She was being taken to something she drove away.

        For the first time the sky was clear, I could see the stars.  And now I know that there is no way to miss your fate. No matter how many calculations you do or mistakes you make, fate will find you wherever you go. Lost in my thought as I looked up and I saw a star falling down. May be it was my turn now, may be my fate was coming along.