Signal of a falling star!!

When you live in a city like Delhi it can take all your energy to stay “alive”. People talk about love and share speeches about not being emotionally drained, but the truth is nobody actually cares.  When people ask “how are you?” they really don’t need an answer.  A day before yesterday I said “I am fine, thanks” at least fifty times, and I didn’t mean it once. And the funny part was, no one actually noticed. I mean who the hell has time and feelings to waste? In the age of raising inflation feelings have become way too expensive. Cupid has fixed his rate and fate is facing extinction. Damn it!

           One morning my best friend Sofia invited me to her apartment to celebrate absolute nothing. Ever since she started working at HCL, Sofia was in a celebration crisis. So she decided to hang out and spend some time with me, like old times.  Some people are so good at hiding there true feelings under the fabulous cover of a good laugh or a pretty smile, that instantly the lie becomes the truth. Sofia was one of those kinds. But when you have known someone for more than half of your life, a fake laugh can’t help. So I confronted her. “How are you?” I asked and trust me, I meant it. She looked me in the eye and a tiny drop of tear rolled down her chick. It was one of those awkward friendship moments when you feel like you know nothing about the person you thought you knew every thing about. I had known Sofia all my life but never saw her cry, not even the day when we left our town. So I feared what went so horribly wrong that my strong Sofia lost herself?

   “I am having a rough time. I can’t imagine I am saying this but…uhhh… I think there might be a chance that I have fallen for someone.” she started sobbing just after she broke the news. I could believe if she had said that she murdered someone but this was beyond my strength to absorb. Sofia in love was like Delhi is clean! “Who is he and why didn’t you tell me about him, Sofi?” anxiety was getting over me. And then she began with her tale.  He was a client at HCL, whom she met a month ago. The guy was an engineer, not to mention stunningly hansom and intelligent, according to her he was her first official infatuation. And just when she realized the fact that the man was controlling all of her thoughts and emotions, she drove him away!

               Of all the unique species I know of, Sofia is ultimate. HCL was giving her a promotion; hence transfer to another city was inevitable. And as she had seen too many long distance relations go down the drain, she was just not in favour of a serious relationship with him. She felt it could not last, so there was no point in giving it a try. Her judgment was right or wrong, I could not decide. But it was fairly certain that she had just stepped into the zone where every feeling is predefined. What if he was the one for her?

         Latter that night I found myself thinking about ‘fate’. That crazy concept that we are not really responsible for the course our lives take, that it’s all predestined, written in the stars. May be that explains why- If you live in a city where you can’t even see the stars clearly your life tends to feel a little more random. But if every feeling, every pain and every drop of love is preordered from some cosmic catalogue, can we still take a wrong step and wander off our own personal ‘milky way’. I could not help but wonder could you make a mistake and miss your fate?

         Yesterday I was at the railway station with my best friend aka the new manager of HCL, Mumbai.  Hard as it was to see her go, I decided not to cry and save some of my emotional expences. We stood there holding hands before she saw the engineer guy enter her train. There was a thousand watt smile spread all over her face, and after a long time I saw her sparkle again. Just then the train gave its signal and she ran into it. As she waved her hand for me I realized it was her fate signaling. She was being taken to something she drove away.

        For the first time the sky was clear, I could see the stars.  And now I know that there is no way to miss your fate. No matter how many calculations you do or mistakes you make, fate will find you wherever you go. Lost in my thought as I looked up and I saw a star falling down. May be it was my turn now, may be my fate was coming along.